I remember as a tween slamming my bedroom door as much as I could, it had great impact on the expression of my emotion. It also had great impact on my parents mood and resulted in the loss of my door completely. The day my step dad stomped down the hall with screw driver in hand is one I’ll never forget, it took 3 years before my door was reattached.
This is my daughter, even though she is not a tween yet, the door slamming has started already. My life consists of conversations like this,
“Clean up your room please.” stomp, stomp SLAM!
“Do your homework please sweetie.” stomp, stomp SLAM!
“Get ready for school.” stomp, stomp SLAM!
Words don’t exist anymore just stomp, stomp SLAM! So the other evening when she asked me what was for dinner I went stomp, stomp SLAM! off to my room. Well didn’t that cause some confusion, she didn’t say anything when I came back out.
My daughter has however swept the floor, cleaned her room and washed the dishes. Her door has not been slammed again, and my house is still standing for now.
I’ve been watching the show ‘If you really knew me’ on MTV, its heart wrenching. I think it’s amazing that people are out there are encouraging teens to tell their story. Everyone has a story that is sometimes hard to tell. Since I have declared February as the month of love for myself I have decided to start with a ‘If you really knew me.’
If you really knew me – you would know that I had a very troubled childhood which has led to a mental illness. I have bipolar type 1.
If you really knew me – you would know that my mum threw bricks through the lounge room window at me, then tossed me out on the street when I was 13.
If you really knew me – you would know that some days are so dark for me and I struggle.
If you really knew me – you would know that I will never give up and I will do whatever it takes to make sure my husband and children feel loved and wanted.
Feel free to share your ‘If you really knew me.’ Sometimes it’s great to just let it all out and to know you are not alone.
photograph of book taken and edited by me….Book and extra illustrations by Shirley Barber
I was always told as a child that art and creativity will get you nowhere, this was always followed with a lecture about choosing something more practical and profitable for a career. I remember going back to my parents and with the idea of being a lawyer, I was told I was too dumb for that and all the other things on my career list. My heart was crushed and yet again the light of opportunity was turned off in my life.
With no-one batting for my team a career never formed, I was never taught to dream big and aim high. It has been unfortunate that I was taught to have very little faith in myself and my ability to achieve anything. This way of thinking has led to a lot of negativity and sadness in my life. I have had to work very hard to persuade myself that I am worth more.
It’s time I started letting go and living!